Breastfeeding Wasn’t for Me

Before I became pregnant, I knew I wanted to breastfeed. The benefits are amazing for the baby and not bad for yourself either as well as giving you bonding time with your baby.  When I found out I was pregnant with twins, I did my research.  I downloaded articles of what women with twins did to produce enough milk for their babies, I pinned lactation recipes,  and I had herbal supplements that were given to me from a friend. I was determined to breastfeed until the girls were at least 6 months old.

Our first night home, I didn’t produce enough milk for them.  They wanted to eat at least every half hour. I was sobbing from exhaustion, so from my mom’s suggestion, Adler ran to the store to pick up formula.  The next day I started taking the herbal supplements and started pumping. They absolutely helped! From my research of what other women experienced, pumping every 2 hours along with feedings will help increase your production.  Over the next week of this, I was producing enough milk for a few days.

I began exclusively pumping and feeding from a bottle because my girls wanted to pay attention to everything else and I didn’t have the patience to keep trying to get both of their attentions.  Not long after, my girls started eating more than I could produce, so we started feeding formula at night and breastmilk during the day.

At this point, I was starting to change my diet because their little tummies couldn’t handle me drinking milk or eating eggs.  I drink a lot of milk and loved eggs (I can’t eat them anymore…thanks pregnancy).  I didn’t have time to cook myself good meals. I was sleep deprived, learning how to take care of babies, my body was still in a lot of pain ( my back was killing me from losing the 14+ lbs of babies that were inside me), juggling babies, and let’s be honest…I didn’t want to.

I noticed after a while that I had felt like I constantly had a cold. I had body aches and the level of exhaustion where you only want to lay in bed and sleep all day.  I realized that it had to do with breastfeeding.  I started to change how often I was pumping.  I figured that as long as my girls were getting some milk from me, I would be happy and they would be getting what they needed.  Pumping every 4 hours was still a lot for my body to handle, so I decided to stop altogether.  It was a tough and expensive decision, but I started to feel more normal again.  I breastfed them for 2 1/2 months.  I don’t regret my decision at all.  I did what was best for me and the girls.  In the end, you have to make the right decision for yourself.  You don’t want to feel like a failure and you want to give your babies the best, but your babies need you at your best too.

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